Friday, March 12, 2010

You Need a Gay Husband

Happy Friday! Don't forget to enter my Essie giveaway. It closes Sunday. I really want you to win.

So today Mommy Chick received an interesting message in her Facebook inbox titled "Gay Husband?"

The body read: "Just curious. lol"

"Lol" means "laugh out loud." MC had to explain that to me. I thought maybe it was some sort of judgement about MC and me spending so much time lolling around on our ba-donk-a-donks, googling Adam Lambert and Justin Timberlake. Lol.

See? I totally used it correctly. I am already a comic genius.

So apparently some of you are unaware of the necessity for a Gay Husband. I am young, but am already on the look out for a FGA at the park.

FGA=Future Gay of America.

The duties of a Gay Husband (GH) include, but are not limited to:

1. If for any reason, your Non-Gay Husband (NGH) refuses to attend any event, like Wicked or Phantom of the Opera, the GH shall attend.
2. If you look fat, the GH will gently advise a wardrobe change. Such a maneuver should NEVER been attempted by the NGH. Death could result.
3. Should you visit a sub-par hairstylist, the GH must tell you that "Your hair looks awful and everyone is talking about it." (Yes, this happened to MC)
4. The GH must engage in mindless gossip, while agreeing with you. Expect phrases such as, "She's stupid, AND I hate her hair."

See? You totally have to get one. Gay Husbands are The New Black. The thought that some of you don't have a GH makes me a little sad.

So...I'm making it my Monkey Baby Mission to help you! I obviously have some extra time, since I don't have to worry about blow-drying or flat ironing my bald head.

So next week, I'm blessing you with another series:

How to Find Your Very Own FabuGay!

I'm blowing spit bubbles in excitement.


  1. This is hilarious. And nary a truer word spoken.

  2. So funny, darling!
    I need a GH stat!


  3. lol! This is such a great idea! I want one!!! Cute blog!!!

  4. I could really use a GH. My NGH spends too much time at sporting events.