Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm Releasing Text Messages, Too!

So everyone seems to be abuzz about Tiger Wood's alleged (that's a fancy word that news people use so they won't get sued) mistress Joslyn James.  She made a website where she released purported (another "don't sue us" word) text messages from Tiger.

One of them is about him peeing on her.  I peed on Mommy Chick's Juicy robe last night, so I have no idea why that's such a big deal.  Maybe Joslyn (and MC) should learn to put the new diaper under the old one while doing a change.


Anyway, I'm hoping to increase my traffic, so I stole MC's phone and am releasing text messages from Daddy Dude.  

DD, if you are reading this, I will remove these only if you produce the Maclaren Baby Juicy Stroller by midnight Sunday.  And MC needs some Tory Burch flats for the park.  I think you'll make the right choice. (BTW, these flats are pre-order only right now)


Like Joslyn, we are omitting our response to these texts:

"About to walk out the door.  See you soon."

"It'll be 7:30 before I'm done tonight."

"How are my girls today?"

"Don't open the edamame."

"I have to run a VD errand. Be back soon."

"Did you download the gorilla video?"

"Easy with the threats."

"I was preoccupied with Ms. Thang."

Yesterday Joslyn's site crashed from so much traffic, so I apologize in advance if I crash Google with this post.  Hopefully MC and I will be at the park next week with our new loot.

2 comments:

  1. Hmmm... Those are some racy texts... It just might crash Google!! I hope you get your loot :D

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  2. Very fun post...I'm tempted to blackmail the boyfriend...I don't know that he'd like his texts on my blog ;)

    ReplyDelete