So you are wearing appropriately glossed lips and a stylin' ponytail. But you just ruined the whole package by putting on sweats two sizes too big!
My logic skills are not yet fully developed. However, I do kind of follow your reasoning. Mommy Chick is obviously trying to give me body issues already, because I overhear her telling her friends she "feels fat." Dr. Phil says mommies should not talk about weight in front of their Bald Monkey Babies, so I hope she knocks it off before I start talking out loud.
As usual, I digress. You "feel fat" so you try to hide it with large clothes. Congratulations! You just added bulk to your body!
MC used to be the Queen of Wearing Clothes Too Big For Her. Thank goodness My Fairy Godfather pointed it out to her. He is an Entertainment Manager at this really big park that features rodents. He is also a Big Deal pageant/modeling coach and loves to do wardrobe consultations. He has also danced with Christina Aguilera. Even more impressive, he used to dance inside a Barney costume. Knowing the inner workings of the "industry" has really robbed me of my childhood.
Here we are after a Gay Chorus concert. MC and I don't sing. We are not allowed. (BTW...MC is wearing the Three Minute Face here. I am wearing The Annoyed Get Me the Heck Out of Here Face).
So here are My Fairy Godfather's Top 5 Wardrobe Commandments:
- Wear clothes that fit and actually touch your body.
- Remember, the size tag is on the inside, so don't worry if you don't like the number.
- Always wear earrings. It gives a more polished look. (You might have a Bald Monkey Baby who likes to pull earrings, so just wear studs. That's what MC does now.)
- Buy basic pieces and add fabulous accessories, like a cute belt or pair of leopard print shoes.
- No Mom Jeans!
Remember, it takes the same amount of time to slide into unflattering clothes as it does to slip into something sassy!
So how do you know if you're wearing Mom Jeans? MC and I found the most AMAZING Mom Jean tutorial. We will share it with you tomorrow and will also tell you how to look super cute in work out wear.