Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Kissing Pigs and Purging Closets

Why am I sitting on a giant litter box? And why does that dirty water keep getting my piggies? I don't know if I like this whole vacation thing. Sigh.

Mommy Chick and I are back from a mini-beach vaycay. I'm happy to be home with my bad dogs, but I've been quite busy.

It seems that boobie milk is like Miracle Grow. That means I have a whole bunch of couture I can no longer wear. So MC and I are purging my closet to make room for new summer and fall fashion.

My Piglet doll and I are helping with The Great Purge of '10. He and I are BFF.

Please accept my apologies for MC's sub-par camera work. Apparently she is auditioning for the next Blair Witch Project.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I'm a Mermaid

Sorry I've been away for a few days. This is a big week for me. I'm now just like Michael Phelps...if Michael Phelps wore pink swim panties and screamed each time he entered the pool.

Swimming takes a lot of my time. Ten minutes a day to be exact. I'm taking Infant Swimming Resource lessons. So basically, I'm learning how to save myself should I fall into some water.

I think Piglet should take lessons, too. He is a Shih Tzu and inherited MC's unfortunate athletic skills.

I've opted for the European-topless look while swimming. It simplifies my day. Most Americans are so uptight about such things. I'm glad my teacher is cool with my swim attire.

I think I might kind of be like the Wicked Witch of the West. Remember how water made her melt? I think water might be my's interfering with my super power.

You'll recall my super power is the ability to fight sleep. I find myself napping more this week. I certainly hope that changes, because my staying awake for 14 hours is fun for everyone.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Creepy Bedtime Story

You'll never believe what happened last night! Mommy Chick read me a story about pigs. One of the pigs went to the grocery store, and I guess it made another pig mad, so he cried like a little baby pig. That's not even the weird part. MC's fingers turned into little pink pigs!

I mean, I've heard of people having sausage fingers. MC used to work for a man who had Vienna Sausages for digits. Or as some of the people from my Nana's hometown would say, "VEYE-eeenie Weenies." I cannot make up this stuff.

So if Jimmy Dean hands are your thing, check out this book. It is $9.35 at Amazon, which is a few bucks less than we paid somewhere else.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I Almost Know Kim Kardashian

How was your holiday weekend?  Mine was riveting.  I ate cold noodles and edamame directly off the table at a chain restaurant.  Don't worry, Mommy Chick cleaned the table before my feast.  I ate some chicken, too.  The protein gives my hair a lot of body and luster, or at least that is what MC says.

This is a picture of me with our friend, Fancy.  I'm under MC's yellow shirt.  This was last summer at Disney World.  We were in line for the Toy Story ride.  Geez, those Disney people were really picky about what I could ride in-utero.  Don't you think MC's pouty face distracts from her 7 1/2 month pregnant belly?  I do.

Now, check out what Fancy was doing this weekend while you were busy eating hot dogs on a lawn chair.

Are you jealous?  Because I'm totally not.  I think eating knock-off PF Changs is just as glamorous as walking the red carpet at the Indy 500.  Fancy said Kim is "tiny, gorgeous and sweet," just as we had always suspected.

She also said Kim's butt is pretty much a normal butt.  Sometimes I think I look a little like her when my panties are full.

Fancy keeps threatening to start a blog.  We hope she does, so we can continue being not jealous of all her celebrity encounters.