Thursday, December 31, 2009

I Met Another Celebrity!

Conan O'Brien! Or at least that is what I thought as we daintily shook hands. Yesterday some of Mommy Chick's friends came to meet me. MC and this guy used to be on the news together TEN YEARS AGO! I cannot even fathom that amount of time. It must be comparable to infinity.

Because we were entertaining yesterday, I wore my monkey pants from Gymboree. They were a gift from one of MC's friends. Gymboree no longer carries these exact pants, but I did a search for you and they still have 19 monkey items!

This dress is on sale for $10.99, marked down from almost $30.

And I love this shirt for boys. I would totally dig if one of my boyfriends picked me up for a date in this. Except none of us can drive. Or walk. Or eat solid food. But I still like this shirt. It's $19.75.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Live From the Road!

Sorry I've been MIA for the last several days. I'm visiting Mommy Chick's family in the Louisville area. MC assured me she knew how to "mobile blog," but when I tried to post, it didn't work. She needs to get it together or I'm getting a new IT person.

MC opted not to bring the lap top with us. And my Papa doesn't like us to use his computer because he thinks we'll give him a virus. Old people are funny.

My cousins Andrew and Anna are helping MC take care of me. I almost spewed boobie milk everywhere when I Anna in monkey pajamas today! They are made by Carter's and she got them at Kohls.
As you know, MC and I love pigs. That's why our dog is named Piglet Faberge. We found this pig fleece nightgown, also at Kohls. It's on sale for $10.40. They only have girls size small left, so get cracking.

I'm pretty jazzed about a possible field trip to the Zappos outlet. It's about 20 minutes from here, and I'm trying to decide whether or not I will scream the whole way. Anna and I would like some matching boots for our skinny jeans.

Keep your fingers crossed I can go back to Monkey Town with some hot new shoes!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Today I take to the friendly skies to travel to Kentucky. MC finally approved a few days off for me while we are on vacation. I'm trying to figure out mobile blogging, because I think it would be nice for you to see me getting back to my roots in Appalachia.

MC, on the other hand, does not want to get back to her roots and spent a few hours at the salon last week getting reblonded.

Wish us luck on my first flight. I'm a little worried...I just got a gander at MC's reading material: The No Cry Sleep Solution. I hope that does not mean my pass to the all-night buffet is about to expire!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Travel in Style

Merry Christmas Eve! I'm getting so excited for my trip tomorrow. Mommy Chick has been doing lots of planning about how best to jaunt through the airport with me.

As you know, MC and I are big advocates of "baby wearing." It helps with bonding and feeding. MC likes that wearing me covers her tummy. She's says it is still a bit rounder than normal.

We've decided I'll chill in the airport in my Baby Bjorn. We have The Original and love it. It's just under $80 at Babys R Us.

MC is absolutely kicking herself for not discovering these gorgeous Baby Bjorn slip covers earlier. They are by Baby Bella Maya and are so much chicer than the plain old Baby Bjorn. This is my favorite, pink champagne. You'll seem classier if you pronounce it "sham-PAG-nee."
Check out that little baby model. I can tell by the look on her face that she is pretty impressed with herself and those little matching shoes. You can get those for $10. Right now, they are out of my size (0-6 mos), but they should be in stock in January.

I don't want to leave out my little boy peeps. So I found these Coco Blue shoes for you, also at Baby Bella Maya. They are on clearance for $7, so snap to it.

What? You think they look girly? Don't worry. The chicks will dig them. I should know.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Spreading Joy

Mommy Chick thought it would be fun to put a giant flower on my head for our shopping trip. She was did make everyone smile!

You'll notice we are both wearing very basic outfits, as not to appear "overdone."

My headband is from Mckinley Hudson. One of Daddy Dude's patients owns it and brought me some fabulous dresses and headbands. Their website is under construction, but I will let you know when it "goes live." MC likes saying "go live." It reminds her of her TV news days.

Anyway...I'll see if I can get MC to stop watching "Jersey Shore" long enough to take some pix of my new dresses. Wish me luck.

The All Night Buffet...

was open again last night! What can I say, it's the holidays and I'm not immune to the temptation of some late night boobie milk. Mommy Chick says I don't have to eat it just because it is there.

We have a lot to do today. We're helping a friend register for all the loot she'll need when her baby is finally on the outside. I also need a few more things for my trip up north, so we're on the hunt for some cute winter wear. I will let you know what I find.

MC looks a little tired today, but don't tell her I said that. For days like this, she likes to whip out her Laura Mercier Eye Basics. It's kind of between an eye shadow and concealer. MC thinks it makes her look more rested (or is that what people say when they've just had a facelift?).

You can get it at Sephora for $24. It comes in seven colors. MC has "linen," which is a light ivory. It works well on her because she is the Queen of the Pale.

If you order between now and December 31, you can get an extra 20% off sale items by using the code "extra."

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

All I Want for Christmas...

is eyebrows! Then everyone will stop asking me why I'm so surprised.

I overheard Mommy Chick talking about drawing some eyebrows on for me. She says they are "the frame for your face."

She'll probably use Anastasia's Brow Express Kit. It's $38 at Ulta and comes in both brunette and blonde. Each kit has two colors, highlighter, wax and stencils (very helpful if you do not currently have brows). You can get 20% of your entire purchase at with code 24103.

Be sure to check out the super fab blog Stylestance! I get a mention today, which is awesome. I was beginning to think I was going to have to fire MC and get a new PR person. Her job is safe...for now.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Modeling My New Stuff

Shopping Success!

Remember I told you my Guncle Chris was coming to town for our annual shopping extravaganza? Well he surprised me and brought his sister Princess Jasmine and her dreamy husband! Even better than that, we found lots of good loot...on sale.

I loved my Baby Gap experience (minus the stroller traffic jam in there) and am now the proud owner of skinny jeans and a furry vest. Not everyone can pull off skinny jeans, but they really work on my apple-bottom-diaper butt.

The vest is normally $26, we we snagged it for $22.99.

These jeans are $25. I know they must be high end, because the tag says they are made in Pakistan. I like to pronounce it "Pock-uh-Stawn" like President Obama says. Mommy Chick says he only started pronouncing it like that after he became president.

MC scored the Michael Kors Bromley boot for herself. It is an over the knee boot with a flat heel, so she'll still look respectable at play groups. It retails for $250, but we found it at Macys for $159. If Daddy Dude had answered his phone to give us his Macys card number, we would have gotten it for $129, but he was busy playing golf.
The absolute highlight of the day was binging on boobie milk in my awesome New Native sling. Check out the man next to us on a bench. He is clueless that I am feasting on Starbucks flavored milk!
If you visit New Native's website, you can also donate to "The Friends of Bonding." It is a group that helps provides slings and carriers to mommies who cannot afford them. That way, they can bond with their monkeys and amuse their friends by breastfeeding in front of unwitting strangers. That's what I call a "win win situation"!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Our Wish List

This is a big weekend in my short life. Tomorrow my Guncle Chris comes to town for our annual holiday shopping extravaganza. The way Mommy Chick explained it is that we go shopping under the guise of buying for others, but really get a bunch of loot for ourselves. I'm already learning the true meaning of Christmas!

MC and I have been doing some pre-shopping this morning at She tells me it's always best to have a plan.

We both love our Juicy diaper bag, but MC would like something sassy to organize her stuff inside my giant bag of diapers, wipes, toys, etc. We kind of dig this Tory Burch wristlet for $155. It's just big enough for cash, credit cards, and lip gloss.

Mommy is also on the hunt for shoes. She gasped when she got an eyeful of these Diane von Furstenburg sandals featuring, gasp, peacock feathers! They are $195 and would probably be way too much temptation for my cats, the Pussy Brothers.

Guncle Chris is going to help style me for my upcoming air travel debut. We wonder if he'll like these Ralph Lauren croc-embossed flats for $60?

Poor dead crocodile.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Holiday Workout Tips

Just in case you have been indulging, like me, in too much eggnog boobie milk.

If It's Good Enough for Chachi

Then it's good enough for me! I'm talking about Teething Bling. For the last couple of days, I've been a bit of a crab-o-saurus. Mommy Chick thinks I'm might be teething.

So I casually left this website up for her today. It's called Smart Mom Jewelry and sells super cute teething necklaces, bangles and key chains.

Smart Mom Jewelry has partnered with Renee and Scott Baio to raise money for metabolic testing in babies.

Monkey Loves Chachi!

Monkey also loves speaking in the third person about herself.

Mommy Chick hopes Santa brings her this black onyx necklace. I think it looks delicious! It sells for $19.10. A matching bangle is $12.75.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


I'm back! Sorry I was MIA for a few days. I checked out some child labor laws, and threatened to call the authorities on Mommy Chick if she did not give me a day off from writing.

While I was taking a break, there was some major breaking news here. You probably don't know this, buy Mommy Chick HATES Crocs. She is obsessed with how much she dislikes them. So that's why it made me giggle when I saw that she had to wear these Monday on a job where she played a doctor. Not very McDreamy, huh?

Since MC felt so violated, I decided to surprise her by ordering these Heelarious shoes for myself.

This is the "Brooke" style. It's $30 and fits newborns through six months. I was excited to see they've added fab teething rings. I'm hoping Santa brings me one, because I am starting to teeth and feel silly chewing on a big, frozen butterfly.
The credit-card teether is $10. I think it would be nice for boys, too, to prepare them for being good husbands.

Monday, December 14, 2009

And the Winner is...


Yay, you will love your lipgloss. I don't know how to mail things, so email your address to Mommy Chick and she will do it for me.

Her email is She is at a job all day today, but will get it out to you tomorrow.

Congrats! I think I'm going to do a monthly blogiversary giveaway, so keep checking back with me.

Happy Monday!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I'm 12 Weeks Old!

And let me tell you, I am keeping Mommy Chick very busy with my 12-week growth spurt. I have been chugging boobie milk like a fool over the last few days! MC might need a spa day to recover!

You still have time to enter my giveaway!

I'll announce the winner tomorrow!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

My Giveway!

Happy Saturday!

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

Mommy Chick and I are off to do a little shopping. She needs a button-down shirt for a job on Monday. Unfortunately, the top button on the ones in our closet are in jeopardy of flying off and killing someone. I think it is because she stores my food in her shirts.

I suggested we just dash to Express for their "Essential Long Sleeve Shirt." It's $39.50 and if you buy one, you get a second at 50% off.

We may even do a little shopping for me, even though I was not booked with MC for her job on Monday.

I will let you know if I find any hot bargains.

Friday, December 11, 2009

My Reindeer Tutu!

Mommy Chick and I are so in love with my Miss Priss Tutu. Check me out...I'm kind of a big deal!

I'm a Public Speaker

You probably thought I was just a prolific writer. I've branched out and am now on the public speaking circuit. Last night Mommy Chick, Daddy Dude and I went to talk at a Hypnobirthing graduation. If you know any babies who are still "on the inside," you should send them some information about Hypnobirthing.

It's a cool technique that teaches Mommies and babies how to work together to evict the baby gently. MC and I did it like rock stars. That's why we were invited to speak about our experience last night.

One thing MC confessed is that she wore false eyelashes and lip gloss for the coming out party. She also got a blow out (not the kind I had in my panties yesterday at Starbucks).

MC also thinks hospital gowns are super ugly. That's why we like Binsi. They make cute and comfortable labor couture! This skirt is on sale now for $25, reduced from $40.

You should try to look fab for when you meet your baby. Hospital gowns are for sick people, not Birth Goddesses!

Don't forget the gloss. You can win some of the same gloss MC wore during labor here.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

My Giveaway

I'm home from my photo shoot. You will soil your onesie when you see my fab pictures. I did pass out during the shoot, so I'm sleeping in some of them. It's good training for when I'm a supermodel and collapse on set from lack of food.

My giveaway is LIP GLOSS! Mommy Chick says a little lip gloss goes a long way. MC loves Mac, YSL and Laura Mercier. However, a Glamazon news anchor here in Monkey Town introduced us to Milani. She made us promise not to tell anyone about it, but we know you will love it, so we are giving away a gloss and coordinating liner. I swear, this stuff will change your life.

It is super shiny and stays on all day! I have to sandblast my head every night to get all the kissy marks off me!

To enter, leave a comment.

For two entries, mention this giveaway on your blog...let us know about that in your comment.

We'll announce the winner on Monday. That will give you lots of time to tell your friends to come visit me. Maybe we'll even give away a few tubes if we get enough entries.

It's My Blogiversary!

One month ago today I decided to write this blog. I'll be celebrating with a giveaway later today. First, I'm dashing out to a photo shoot. But I did put this video together to entertain you until I get home.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Baby Boy Bling

So I'm kind of seeing someone. I didn't want to say anything until we had a few more dates. His name is Brockalicious. We met over the summer, while we both were still in utero. Now that we're on the outside, our relationship has blossomed and we see each other at Mommy Chick's boobie party. She calls it a "breastfeeding support group."

I like him because he has a lot of hair. Perhaps that is hypocritical, like the fat dude who only wants to date girls who are a size zero.

Mommy Chick says it is my duty to make sure my man looks good. So I saw these shoes and thought of him.

You know I'm a sucker (no pun intended) for a hot bling paci. I like this one for boys. It's $59.99, also at Jewelry and Baby Bling by Dara.

My Blogiversary...

is in two days!

To celebrate I'll be doing a giveaway. You won't want to miss it because I will reveal THE BEST LIPGLOSS EVER!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Tiger and I Have Something in Common

We both like to pull hair. I took a snooze in my swing and when I woke up, some lady was in the newspaper saying that Tiger Woods likes to pull her hair.

I pull Mommy Chick's hair any chance I get. If you look behind the big plant in the dining room, you'll find my stash of MC's hair. I'm crafting my own hair extensions. I wonder if Tiger is working on some extensions of his own?

I could save myself some time and effort and just order a 'do from Baby Bangs. I like the auburn color shown here on the Dahlia Drop style. It would make my blue eyes "pop," as those of us in fashion like to say.

It is $29.95 and comes in colors ranging from blonde to black.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

My Music Video

Remember how I told you yesterday was Daddy Dude-Daughter Day? We made a music video for Mommy Chick.

You'll notice I have amazing abs. When I have more time I'll write about my work-out routine. But right now I have to go because I'm watching my Auntie Cocoa (Ericka Dunlap) on The Amazing Race.

Enjoy my video and I'll chat at you tomorrow!

My Tutu Arrived!

And the timing could not be better! Today I'm doing volunteer work and can't wait to debut this look from Miss Priss Tutus!

It will be the perfect venue. Mommy Chick and I are helping with the silent auction at the local gay chorus concert. I just know the gays will go wild over my tutu!

I will post pictures tomorrow. Maybe you will even get to see a picture of My Fairy Godfather and me!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Designer Baby Golf Wear!

Today is Daddy Dude-Daughter Day!

And sometimes that means I scream at Daddy Dude while he text messages Mommy Chick. We've promised not to do that today.

Daddy Dude loves to play golf. So I'm learning about the sport so we can have our own special thing we do together. Kind of like how MC and I read TMZ and braid each other's hair. What? Are you implying I don't have enough hair to braid?

I've learned quite a bit about golf in the last week or so. Like if your husband is bad, you should chase him with a golf club. I bet Elin Nordegren looked fabulous while running behind the Escalade swinging that wedge! (BTW...we predict a surge in Elin-esque platinum hair, kind of like when Princess Diana died and everyone got that haircut).

I'm most excited about golf fashion! Did you know you can buy new clothes under the guise of "playing golf"?

I can't decide between these golf slippers...

Or these golf socks...

Both are from Designer Baby Golf Gifts. The slippers are $12.95 and the socks are $26.50.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Next Thursday is...

My One Month Blogiversary! I'm so excited and am working on some new things for you. Mommy Chick and I are brainstorming about a video segment, where I'll discuss fashion and current events, while chillaxin' in my Bumbo seat.

We tried to do a run-through yesterday. MC hired Piglet Faberge to be the floor director, but he wanted to lick my face instead. That's the problem with nepotism.

I'm also planning a giveaway to celebrate! I wanted MC to take me shopping today, but after I screamed at the print guy in Office Depot, she got all attitudinal and brought me home.

Like I said, good help is hard to find.

Thigh High Boots...

Not just for hookers!

Mommy Chick is on a hunt for the perfect above-the-knee boot. I will not be wearing this style this season. I'm mean, check out my thighs. It would be a sin to cover these frog legs!

By the way, the camera adds rolls.

I have to admit, though, all the other babies would be jealous of me in these by Christian Louboutin. They are $1,995.

Notice how the heel is not super high or super skinny? That is the key to looking like a Glamazon rather than a Lady of the Night.

MC really loves these by Chinese Laundry. They sell on Zappos for $98.95 and would look fab with leggings or a skinny jean. A Starbucks cup would also nicely accessorize this look. I like when MC's boobie milk is really jacked up on caffeine.

Because MC and I do like to coordinate a bit, I am considering adding these to my winter look. It's the Lil Star boot from The Children's Place (where BTW my Auntie Dill once saw Larry Birkhead shopping with Dannilynn. She said he seemed "fabulous," if you catch my drift). I digress. These boots are $14.95.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Be Honest

Did I get too crazy with the collagen this month?

What Goes Around Comes Around

Bet you saw the title and thought this was about Tiger, huh?

Nope, today Mommy Chick is teaching me all about the basics of style. Now I know that fashion is cyclical and most trends revisit us.

However, this is VERY important! If you've previously worn a trend, make sure to vary it on the next go round. So that means if "neck cheese" (you know, food stuck in fat rolls) is hip five years from now, I will wear it differently.

MC wore leggings in high school. And she is wearing leggings AT THIS VERY MOMENT! You know what she is not wearing with her leggings? Sam and Libby bow shoes and mall bangs. Instead, she's wearing hip boots and a sweater dress.

My favorite look in leggings right now is denim.

These are by 7 For All Mankind and retail for $185.

We also like these denim-look leggings by INC at Macys. They are a bit more budget-friendy at $39. That super cute sweater tunic is on sale today for $59.25, reduced from $79.

These are fun for you mini-fashionistas. They are by Flowers by Zoe and we found them at Bloomindales for $34.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Let Me See Your Grill!

When I was still chillin' in Mommy Chick's tummy, her friends gave her lots of clothes for me. Most of them are pink and frilly with little animals adorning them. It's tough to have street cred at the Gymboree when you're wearing a pink onesie with a little lamb.

So I came up with a plan. I want a custom grill, like this one from

I showed it to MC so she could order it for me, but she told me you have to have teeth to wear a grill.

Here's Plan B. Behold the "Bling Paci"!

I know! It's just too fabulous for words. It's $30 at www.pinktaffydesigns.

MC would totally buy me one, but I am too smart for a paci. I know that it is a trick. Hello, I suck on it and nothing comes out.

However, I would look fab and hip with a Swarovski paci, so perhaps I will reconsider in the name of fashion.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Lessons from the Party Crashers

I bet, like me, you are probably tired of hearing all about Micheale and Tareq Salahi, the couple who infamously weaseled into a White House state dinner last week.

There is a lesson here, ladies: Never underestimate the power of a great blow out. I don't care what anyone says, sleek and shiny hair got those people past secret service.

The end.