Sunday, January 31, 2010

Here She Is...Miss America!

Congrats to our new Miss America, Miss Virginia, Caressa Cameron!  I don't like to brag, but you'll see here that I predicted yesterday she would be in the top three.  My first choice, Miss Kentucky, was fourth runner up.  Some people call that "fourth loser." And by "some people," I mean Mommy Chick.  I loved Miss Virginia, but I do think Miss Kentucky is still my fav.

I also predicted Miss New York would rank highly.  But I don't think she bothered to show up last night, because she didn't even make the semi-finals.  She must have had some sort of butt-glue emergency. Or maybe I got a bad tip.

MC is going to watch the pageant on Tivo today.  Did you watch?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Miss America Night!

I'm super excited to watch Miss America tonight. Mommy Chick is a little bummed.  She and Daddy Dude are going on a date so she is Tivo-ing the pageant.

I'm hoping to catch a glimpse of my Auntie Cocoa on TV.  She is in Las Vegas tonight because she was Miss America 2004.  That seems like a really long time ago.  Since I just recently met her, being that I have only be on the outside since September, MC found this clip on Youtube of Auntie Cocoa winning her sparkly crown.  She sure did shriek  and cry a lot.

She must have been really hungry, because that's what I do when I need to eat.  And I'm guessing she probably didn't eat a whole lot leading up to the pageant, being that she had to wear a onesie during the swimsuit competition.  Scratch that, the "lifestyle and fitness" competition.

Here are my top three fav's for tonight:

  1. Kentucky
  2. Virginia
  3. New York
Will any of you be watching? It's OK to admit it. I won't tell anyone.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Look Chic at the Park

Today is Piglet's fifth birthday.  Mommy Chick suggested we go to the park to celebrate, which totally made no sense since we did not take Piglet with us.  I guess his gift was enjoying some peace and quiet without some crazy lady dressing him up in little doggie Polo shirts.

I like to live on the edge, so I tried out that swing contraption they have.  I'm kind of on the fence about.  It seems fun in theory, but is a little weird.  Maybe I'll try again soon.

If you look past my annoyed facial expression, you'll see I'm quite casual chic for our outing.  I'm wearing a basic denim mini skirt over leggings.  It's similar to this one, which you can get at Target for a $9.99.  Since I consider this to be a very trendy piece, I don't want to invest a lot of money in it.

Xhilaration Black IG SG Skirt - 12M

It's kind of embarrassing, but I often wear a bib, even when not eating.  MC says I drool a lot.  Today I'm wearing a Juicy Couture bib.  You can get a pack of three for $40.

I can't wait until MC is old and in the home.  I'm going to make her wear a bib and a diaper when I walk her around the park.

As Not Really My Father Justin Timberlake says, "what goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around."

She'll see.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Doggie Birthday Cakes

My Ewok turns five tomorrow.  That's 35 in human years, so I have no idea why he still lives with us and why he doesn't have a job.  His main job seems to be licking lotion off my toes, which feels kind of cool.

This is Piglet when he was my age, about four or five months old, chilling on his little dog chaise.  Now he is too big to fit on it, so we gave it to my grandma for her cats.

Mommy Chick usually orders Piglet a custom birthday cake.  It takes about two weeks and they airbrush your dog's picture onto it!  It's always a big crowd pleaser and pretty much confirms that MC is bit kookie.  This year, she forgot to order it, but we haven't told Piglet yet.

This is what we usually get.  It's from My Best Friend's Pet Treats.  A 6" cake is $32.99.  You can choose between peanut butter and carob-fudge.  The icing is made from yogurt.  And they must be delicious, because one year at Piglet's party, the dogs had to be separated during cake time because a small scuffle broke out.


MC is calling and ordering this today from Pookies Bow Wow Bakery.  A small "pawty" cake is $13.99.  It's banana cake with peanut butter icing and cream cheese piping.  That sounds a heck of a lot better than those bland little organic flakes I've been getting lately.

For his actual gift, he'll probably get his favorite thing in the world:  carrots.  I already told MC that carrots will not fly on my birthday.  I want cash money merchandise.  And real monkeys at my party.  And I want to arrive in a helicopter, just like on My Super Sweet Sixteen.  I have eight months to plan, so let me know if you have any ideas.

I'm pretty sure MC will go for anything and once MC is on board, Daddy Dude is a slam dunk.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Burping in Style

I burp like a drunk frat boy, and sometimes it is juicy.  Most of the time, I like to aim for Mommy Chick's hair.  However, after four months of this, she is getting wise to my ways.

I think her preference would be that I start acting like a proper lady and contain my burps.  But since that probably won't happen anytime soon, we are on the hunt for diva-appropriate burp cloths.  And I think we have a winner!

Look what we found at Maisey Mae.  I have to admit I love the name of the store.  It has a certain elegance and ring to it, don't you think?  I was even more impressed when I looked at their burp clothes.  Each cloth is made from six cloth diapers.  That can hold a lot of "burp goo."

Maisy Mae was started by a mommy who's baby had bad reflux.  She couldn't find fabulous yet absorbent burp cloths, so she made her own.  And now she is some sort of burp cloth superstar.  This is the Sweet Mary Janes design.

Here is the Designer personalization:

A bundle of three burp cloths is $42.  Personalization is $6 per cloth.  You can also get a snazzy little gift set, like this one.  Look, the burp cloth has a cute little boat!  It is $40.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Divalicious Bibs!

What is wrong with this picture, other than than the obvious poor focus?

I am clearly eating something messy, yet have no way to keep my adorable kitty pajamas clean.  I do love Mommy Chick and find that she is generally a very good servant.  However, she made what I would call a "poor decision" by feeding me sweet potatoes without a bib!

So once again, it's up to me to be the brains in this operation.  Finding glamorous bibs isn't as easy as one might think.  I did stumble upon Baby Huggables.  They have this uber chic Couture Heart Shaped Baby Bib.  It's $14.99.  It makes me want to go to "Gay Paree" and sing show tunes.

If you're craving a little bling to go with your rhinestone spoon, check out this Rockin Pink Rhinestone Baby Bib.  It's only $5.00 in Snappy Sensation's Etsy store.

If you know of any other bibs fit for Stylin' Bald Monkey Babies, please let me know!  I have a feeling I'll be going through a lot of bibs these days.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Eat in Style with Sparkly Spoons!

So I totally took advantage of Mommy Chick's busy schedule lately and have been  slacking big time.  But it looks like the jig is up, because today she noticed I failed to post over the weekend.  I swear, she is just like Kathie Lee running a sweatshop here!

Since the last time we spoke, I've been working on a new adventure:  solid food!  I use the term "solid" lightly.  MC takes these little organic flakes, mixes them with boobie milk, and calls it breakfast.  I think they are kind of yummy.

This new skill inspired me to shop for dining accessories and I found some blingy spoons at Cutie Patuttie!  They are $17.95 and come in three colors:  white, green, and pink.  I really like the green for myself since avocados are next on my "to do" list. The white is great for boys.  I bet Diddy uses them at his annual White Party in the Hamptons.

Daddy Dude is making homemade organic food for me.  He's finding recipes at Wholesome Baby Food and in the book Super Baby Food.  I noticed some little orange cubes in the freezer.  They are either jello shots to help MC get through the day or sweet potatoes.  I'll sample them and get back to you.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Rockin' Baby Clothes

I love when you visit me and leave inspirational comments!  When I posed the simple question "What is your favorite baby gift?" I got lots of great responses. But it was Martinis or Diaper Genies who made me dash to my BFF  Google to find a Rolling Stones onesie!  And yes, oodles of them do exist!

This one from Rockabilia is my fav.  It's pink and yummy and features big, pouty lips!  Mommy Chick and I absolutely adore anything with pouty, glossy lips!  It is $21.95.

We also checked out What the Rock.  You can pretty much find any "rocker" onesie you want, including Pink Floyd, Poison and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

MC likes this little Motley Crue number.  It's $22.95.  I hear the drummer of Motley Crue, Tommy Lee, is a big movie star...something about a boat?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Fun at Auto Shows

Some of Mommy Chick's friends are freezing in Detroit right now for the North American International Auto Show.  As I previously told you, MC and I were once"product specialists" for a major auto manufacturer.

Our days consisted of smiling and talking about horsepower, all while wearing pointy high heels.  Our shoes were actually pretty comfortable, made by BCBG.   If you're looking for some sassy high heels that will only make your feet bleed a little after standing for 12 hours, we recommend these.  They are $80.01 at Zappos.

If you've ever wondered about a "day in the life" of an auto show "specialist," check out this funny blog, Do You Come with the Car?

Oh, the memories!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Mix and Match Patterns

Mommy Chick reads a lot of blogs to me, including Couture Carrie.  CC's mommy was very insightful to include "couture" in her name.

Anyway, I read that mixing and matching patterns is a big trend right now, so I decided to try it.  Today I'm wearing flowers and polka dots!  I'm also chewing on my delicious fingers.  Wonder if that is the next big trend?

This outfit is by Carter's and would fit into my "casual-day wear category."  I might wear it to the grocery store or maybe to the gym daycare center.

If I were heading for sushi, I might wear something like this daisy onesie by Poshtots.  It's $47 and is made-to-order.

I could pair it with some striped leggings like these by Baby Nay.  They are $20.
Baby Nay *Big Citizen* Light Pink Striped Leggings 18m
I don't like to brag, but very few people can wear a shirt tucked into horizontally-striped leggings.  OK, maybe I do like to brag.  Wouldn't you?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Personalized Monkey!

Mommy Chick and I know so many women with babies in their tummies right now.  MC is busy filling up with caffeine right now, so I'm looking for some fun gifts in preparation for what's sure to be a very busy spring party season for us!

You will never believe what I found!  If you want to send me one of these, I won't be mad.  It's a personalized Monkey Magoo and Blankie, Too!  It's $28 from Corner Stork Baby Gifts.

Do you have any favorite baby gift ideas?  If so, let me know!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Glam Shoe Art

Since you are kind enough to keep visiting me, I thought I'd share a little more about myself.  My room is decorated with shoes.  Big, blingy, fabulous shoe paintings!

Mommy Chick just knew that by investing in these gorgeous paintings, she was ensuring that I would grow a penis by the time I entered the world.  But she loved them so much that she decided if I were a boy, I would just have to love shoes and become a drag queen.

My paintings are from Art by PJ.  MC stumbled upon PJ at an art show.  We have The Ava.  MC thought about naming me Ava, but decided that "Monkey" goes better with our last name and isn't quite as popular.  You can get The Ava unframed (11 x 14) for $97.

This is my favorite one.  It hangs over my changing table so I can admire it while getting fresh panties.

I couldn't find it on the website, but did spy the Fluffy Cinderella!  An 8x 10 is $327.  It makes my mouth water.


PJ also does hearts, 3d dolls, and martinis.  Daddy Dude likes Martinis.  A lot.

MC is kind of looking forward to the day I plaster Jonas Brother posters all over my walls.  Then she can steal these glam paintings for herself!

Orlando Reporter in Haiti

As we continue to watch the devastating images from Haiti, we wanted to let you know about someone we know trapped in Haiti.  Christine Webb is a reporter at Central Florida News 13 in Orlando.  She was on a mission trip with New Missions when the earthquake hit.  Christine is with a group of about 40 people, many of whom are children.  Fortunately, they are all safe.  

You can see some of Christine's reports here.  Right now, she and her group are awaiting rescue and have no idea when they'll get to come home.  

She is asking that people email her words of encouragement she can share with the group.

Many thoughts and prayers for their safe return.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Little Miss Perfect

Little Miss Perfect is back on We TV!  In the spirit of full disclosure, Mommy Chick does some work for Mr. Michael, the Sultan of Sequins, for his grown-up girl pageants.

Anyway, I was watching the show and think I should get a flipper.  For you non-pageant people, flippers are fake teeth.

Or is a little too Martha Raye?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Brag on Baby Art

Mommy Chick is really into me.  Sometimes it's a little embarrassing, but I think now it's really going to pay off with some personalized art...featuring ME!

Brag on Baby is an awesome site "inspired by fashion...inspired by you" that has about three zillion (ok, maybe not that many, but a lot) options for customized art featuring your baby or your pet.  It's so much more than cheesy keychains.  You can get framed canvas art, murals, and posters just to name a few.

Take a gander at the Classic Comic Wallpaper Mural.  You can get a 3 x 3 for $225 or a 4 x 4 for $275. Who doesn't want their picture on wallpaper?

This is the Six Panel Retro Pop Canvas.  There are three size options and the price ranges from $250 to $550.  If you want, I'll even let you use a picture of me so you can look at me all the time.

MC likes these monkey placemats for $25.  She is having delusions that maybe someday I'll eat solid food and stop using her as my personal buffet.  Fat chance, lady.

Brag on Baby donates a portion of profits to autism charities.  Check out

And the Winner is...


Congrats on winning the fab Essie Winter Set.

Please email Mommy Chick your address (remember, no PO Boxes, please) at  I will make sure she gets it shipped to you today.

Thanks to everyone who entered.  I'll do another giveaway February 10th.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Skinny Jeans: Not Just for the Skinny

This is a picture of Brockalicious and me.  The paparrazzi snapped it during Ta Ta Tuesdays.  That's where our mommies and some other ladies talk all about boobie milk and sometimes they cry about it.

Anyway, while it does appear that we are holding hands, I'm not going to comment on our relationship.  I will, however, comment on my outfit.  Once again, I'm rocking skinny jeans.  I'm actually showing a great look for those of you who aren't skinny like me.  I'm in the 90% percentile for height and 50% for weight.

If your stats are the reverse of that, I suggest you wear your skinny jeans with a tunic.  I'm wearing pink leopard, but I really don't recommend that for anyone over the age of two.  This is a fun, sparkly tunic by Metrostyle .  It's only $14.99 and would look fab on you.

metrostyle Lattice Top Tunic (GOLD METALLIC,M)
Some Essie nail polish would also look fab on you.  You still have a few hours to enter my giveaway.  Check it out here.  I'll announce the randomly chosen winner tomorrow.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Don't Forget My Giveaway!

Check it out here.

You still have until the end of the day tomorrow.

The super lucky winner will be announced Wednesday.

Beautiful Baby Scarves!

I kind of fancy myself the Angelina Jolie of babies, with the exception of the whole homewrecker thing. And oh yeah, I don't cut myself like she used to. But other than that, we're pretty much the same person.

That's why I'm so excited to tell you about Wwoobies by Whole World Baby. They call it "Fashion with Compassion." How fabulous is that?

Wwoobies are baby head scarves that actually stay on little noggins like mine! The company was started by three mommies who were inspired by the beautiful head wraps worn by children in Africa.

You can pick from three styles and organic, recycled or remnant fabric.

This is the Ava and is my favorite. Look how that little model baby is totally gloating about how much hair she has. Show off.

Here is the Amanda:

And the Adam:

Wwoobies range from $14.95 to $16.95. If you buy three, they'll ship them to you free.

And I saved the best for last. Twenty-five percent of the net profits go to seven different children's charities.

Wwoobies are perfect for a bad hair day. Or a no-hair day.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Essie Nail Polish Giveaway!

Happy Blogoversary to me! Two months ago today, I ordered Mommy Chick to step away from the DVR and ghost write for me.

To thank everyone for reading, we have an Essie Nail Polish giveaway. Essie is MC's absolute favorite nail polish. She says it usually lasts more than a week without chipping. I like her hands to look nice while they are doing important tasks, like bathing me and feeding me and wiping my tiny princess butt.

We love the Winter Collection. This is a four piece mini-set featuring Mint-Candy Apple, Lollipop, Rock Candy and 3 Way Glaze. I don't think the glaze has anything to do with Britney's song "Three."

MC will order this directly from Essie for you, so unfortunately, they cannot ship to PO boxes. Boo.

Here's the deal:
*For one entry, leave a comment.
*For two entries, leave a comment and become a follower (or tell me if you already are)
*For three entries, mention this giveaway on your blog and leave the link in the comments section. You know you want to. All the cool babies are doing it.

We'll close the giveaway Tuesday at midnight. The winner will be chosen by random-dot-org.

Got it?

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Patrick Dempsey!

Paging Jealous McMonkey!

So while I was hanging out this afternoon watching Baby Einstein for the 37-thousandth time, my friends Brendan and Patrick were big ballin' at Daytona International Speedway with McDreamy!

B & P's mom, Jen, works in television news and sometimes gets to cover Patrick Dempsey when he is town racing. And by "cover," I mean interview him and pose for pictures with him. And probably giggle with delight. I would definitely giggle.

You can read about her adventures in TV and life here.

Too bad he is hiding his glorious locks under that hat. I would really only want to meet him if I could see his hair, or maybe just sniff it a little, so I'm kind of glad I didn't go today. Really. I am.

Crib Couture

How I love the internet! This morning it led me to the mother ship: Glamajama. Its a hip clothing line with the motto "From the crib to the catwalk."

Glamajama was started five years ago by a mommy who couldn't find edgy, glam clothes for her new baby, so lucky for us, she designed her own!

I am so getting this Sassy Poodle Onesie. It has a flattering little ruffle on the ba-donk-a-donk. I have to admit I'm a bit confused. When I poop in my panties, MC asks me if I have a "poodle in my pants." Apparently, a poodle is a pink sparkly dog. I assure you that is not what is in my pants, but I digress. This onesie is $30.

For you rockin' little dudes, check out this tee. For just $28, you can look like a paste-eating bad boy.

And for the mommies who are tired of yoga pants and shelf tanks, here's a little sass. This Mom Tattoo Tee is $30 and will elevate you to MILF status.

Friday, January 8, 2010

New Native Doll Sling

One of the highlights of my recent trip was chillaxin' with my cousin, Banana. She is simply fabulous. In fact, I'm considering yanking her out of school and employing her as my nanny. She is what my Nana would call "a good worker."

Here, I'll use it in a sentence for you:

Nana: "I hired Bob from down the street to clean out the garage. He is a good worker."
Nana: "I will never hire John's Plumbing again. Those guys were not very good workers."

Anna loved feeding me on my Boppy and helping Mommy Chick change my diapers. My Auntie Dill was telling MC that since we left, Banana has been cosleeping with her dolls and feeding them on couch pillows. And she loved jaunting around town with me in my sling.

So I'm pretty excited about this little gem: New Native makes doll slings!
They're $19 and I think I will send her one for her birthday in April!

Remember, you can also help mommies who cannot afford slings by visiting New Native's Friends of Bonding. Everyone should have the opportunity to wear their is truly the ultimate accessory!

Strasburg Dresses on Sale

You guys know that I'm still new to this "living on the outside" thing, so sometimes Mommy Chick and I need a little guidance. That's where my Auntie Dill comes in handy. She has two monkeys of her own, ages six and ten. So when we were visiting her last week, she took us to Dillards to check out their Strasburg sale. Apparently, they are a must-have for chic little ladies.

MC and I immediately spied this silk turquoise Chloe dress. I think it will really make my eyes POP in my four month photo shoot. It's part of the Holiday Collection, but since it doesn't have a big Elf head on it, I'm comfortable wearing it now.

Because it is considered a seasonal item, I scored it for $36. If you go to the Strasburg website, it is $71.98 marked down fro $129.

You know the best part of these Strasburg dresses? They make matching dresses for American Girl dolls. The America Girl marketing people are genius. I so cannot wait to bankrupt MC and Daddy Dude by coordinating with all my dolls.

The matching Chloe doll dress is on sale for $23.98 from $43.00. The website says it fits "popular 18 inch dolls" and will "make special memories." Hee hee, special memories of food stamps.

I saw MC measuring our Shih Tzu, Piglet Faberge. He should be very, very afraid.