Friday, July 16, 2010

I'm Practicing Being a Celebrity

Remember when Angelina Jolie won the Oscar for "Girl Interrupted"? She made out with her brother and then jumped into a pool fully dressed?

I'm practicing for when I take home an Academy Award. I'm so close to the end of my Infant Swimming Resource classes that I can just taste it.

Today, I went in fully clothed, even wearing funny white sandals. I felt just like an old man in Boca.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


So a lot of you have asked why I'm slacking so much on blogging. Thank you for missing me when I'm not here. I miss you, too.

You know that Mommy Chick is my ghostwriter and general assistant. Now that I am crawling, I require her to trail closely behind me, pulling dog food out of my mouth and putting those little safety things in plugs. So there isn't a lot of sitting time.

I have so many fabulous posts in the works, so MC needs to get cracking.

In other news, I've totally helped MC shed the last of her preggo weight. I'm almost 10 months old, so it's about time, huh? Anyway, I'm like her own personal trainer, making her squat and lift me, crawl, run, you get it.

I vow to give her a few minutes daily to transcribe my wisdom for you.

I just spewed boobie milk all over the tile and need MC to clean it.

Happy Tuesday.

Friday, July 2, 2010

I'm an Excellent Driver

"We absolutely are stopping to ask for directions. You've already gotten us lost once. And if you don't stop grabbing the steering wheel, we will never get there!"

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Keep Swimming!

Check me out! I can totally swim!

I'm still opting for my French Riviera swim look, which is cool since I train at a private facility.

My teacher, Miss Glenda, is going on vaycay, so I won't graduate until the week of the 12th. I imagine Miss Glenda will be doing lots of self-esteem building activities on her trip. It must be hard having all your clients cry when they see you.

I try to make her feel better by smiling and laughing at her after I get out of the pool. All I really want to do while in the pool is chillax on a float with a Boobie Colada.

But bossy ole Mommy Chick insists that I be able to swim, just in case I ever sneak away and swan dive into a pool.

Do you like the way I point my Monkey Toes?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Kissing Pigs and Purging Closets

Why am I sitting on a giant litter box? And why does that dirty water keep getting my piggies? I don't know if I like this whole vacation thing. Sigh.

Mommy Chick and I are back from a mini-beach vaycay. I'm happy to be home with my bad dogs, but I've been quite busy.

It seems that boobie milk is like Miracle Grow. That means I have a whole bunch of couture I can no longer wear. So MC and I are purging my closet to make room for new summer and fall fashion.

My Piglet doll and I are helping with The Great Purge of '10. He and I are BFF.

Please accept my apologies for MC's sub-par camera work. Apparently she is auditioning for the next Blair Witch Project.