As I told you Friday, it's super important to have a Gay Husband (GH). That's Mommy Chick with her GH. They went on a hot date Saturday night. MC is wearing Lucky Brand jeans and a flowy little Ann Taylor Loft top that skates over the sausage I left around her waist.
You'll notice MC's hair is in a high pony. It was down and loose, until her Non-Gay Husband (NGH) made a near fatal mistake: "What's wrong with your hair?"
The warning sirens that resulted jolted me from my nap: Danger! Abort the Mission! Danger!
Let me reiterate such maneuvers should never be attempted by a NGH, especially one sporting random blades of grass on his face from the golf course.
That is why you must get a GH!
You're probably wondering where on earth to find an appropriate GH. Before we get to that, you need to know what type of GH will be a match. There's nothing worse than a GH divorce. Thankfully Mommy Chick chose wisely and has not experienced this.
I'm young, so I'm still looking for a GH. I'd like one who enjoys fashion, but won't be too judgy-pants about my lack of hair. A good compromise might be a GH who would help me really rock my semi-bald head with some fabulous accessories.
MC and I have broken the GH into a few subcategories. Once you identify your type, it'll be easier to determine where you will find him:
- The Fashionista GH:
Enjoys clothing & accessories; appreciates properly fitting garments; religiously visits salons and often uses haircolor; subcategories include The Pageant GH and Celebrity Gossip GH
2. The Fitness GH
Hobbies include spinning and high-intensity training; Often utilizes calorie-counter app on iPhone; Avoid the subcategory Manorexic GH.
3. The Artsy GH
Includes acting and singing GH's; The type will judge your singing in the car. Often seen car dancing at stoplights.
4. The Butch GH
Also known as the "Is He Really Gay or Just Metro GH"; a nice option if you like outdoorsy events.
5. The Foodie GH
Enjoys fine dining, cooking, wine and trips to Whole Foods. Knows how to make a mean roux. I would like a roux in my bottle.
Tomorrow I'll tell you where to find some of these GH's, and how to meet them without looking desperado.