See that picture? I'm the one in the middle, under the blue, green and yellow maxi dress. I call it "lymon." That's Eugene on the left. He is a big TV star in Miami, but is irrelevant to this story. He's really handsome, though. Do you like Mommy Chick's bronze hoop earrings? If so, you can have them. I've issued a "no dangly earrings" policy. It's not so much a policy, I suppose, but rather an "if you don't want bloody ears from me ripping out your earrings" policy.
But back to the picture. On the right is Ron. He's kind of fabulous, huh?
Now scroll down and you will see just how fabulous he is...
He is Glambert fabulous! I am bitter with a capital B! Things like this only happen to Ron. He was out enjoying his glamourous NYC life when he runs into Adam Lambert and crew! I don't think I would be as jealous if Glambert were wearing an Old Navy hoodie and a Hair Cuttery 'do. But here he is, in all his smokey-eyed, flat-ironed glory. I even detect a subtle day gloss on his perfect lips. I also sense a bit of highlighter atop his cheek bone. Not that I've looked at this photo a million times, imagining myself snuggled up next to him.
There are so many things I would have shared with him, like how Mommy Chick cried when he lost American Idol, or how I don't see why making out with your keyboardist on TV is that big of a deal.
But really, I want to know where the heck he was in the crappy new "We Are the World" song. Really, Vince Vaughn is belting awkwardly in the back row, but no Adam Lambert? Really? No Lady Gaga? No Justin Timberlake?
And then, I would commend Glambert for observing my protocol and wearing a nice, stud earring and a necklace so inviting for teething.