Know Your Body Type

Mommy Chick and I are the luckiest girls in the world. We have all these fabulous men around us, who love to sing and dance and wear sparkly clothes. I think Mommy Chick calls them The Gays? Anyway, years ago Mommy Chick learned the most wonderful tip from The Gays about knowing what clothes look best: Find a celebrity who has your shape, and copy their style! Brilliant!

So Mommy Chick pays close attention to Beyonce, JLo, Kim Kardashian and Jessica Rabbit. In other words, she is "little in the middle but got much back." That's why you will often see Mommy Chick in belts.

Here is a gorgeous Betsey Johnson belt we love. You can get it at shop.nordstrom.com for $48.

If you want a cheaper, but still super fab option, we like this from Old Navy for only $13.


I've looked through some celebrity photos, and think this superstar most resembles my current physique:



From what I've seen online, he really doesn't wear a lot of clothes. That would be my preference, too, but apparently Mommy Chick would have to go live in a crate if she let me go out of the house naked. I did see that Kermit wears a lot of trench coats. So I found this cool unisex look:


You can get it at kidskiandrain.com. Sizes start at six months.

How to Rock the Red Carpet

Ugh, I need the extra-leaded boobie milk this morning. Mommy Chick and I played out our own version of "Girls Gone Wild Last Night." We stayed up watching infomercials and doing milk shooters until about 2:00 a.m. It was so awesome that I pooped in my pants.

I think the excitement of the CMA red carpet fashions kept me from sleeping.

This is my favorite look of the night:

I cannot hold up a strapless dress. My genetic outcome is still unknown, so whether or not I will ever have the rack to pull of this look is a mystery. However, I do love the layered necklaces, but because I would chew on real necklaces, I'll recommend something like this for infants. It's from Etsy store Samandcoop:

Work the onesie, but take a pass on that purse with the big plastic handles. It cheapens the whole look.

Scientology is for Me

I don't know much about religion. Mommy Chick and that Daddy Dude keep talking about taking me to church. I want to be a Scientologist because I would get to wear high heels:



It also means I would have great hair. I overheard Mommy Chick talking to her Hair Fairy about getting extensions for me. This is one look they are considering:

Animal Print

That Mommy Chick and I went to Walmart. I felt so dirty, but did get to see some fashion gone awry. Animal print has been a big trend this fall. Here are some tall skinny ladies at Fashion Week in NY earlier this year. I did not make it because I was still in-utero.

Here is my take on the trend, which should be a bit softer for Bald Monkey Babies:

So in my seven weeks out of the womb, I've noticed this Mommy Chick I live with reading a lot of blogs. I fancy myself kind of an expert now, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. No one can rock a onesie and burp cloth like me, so come along and find out what Monkey Mae Says...