From Frump to FabuMommy: Three Minute Face!

I am such a lucky Bald Monkey Baby!  Today we have our first ever special guest star on Monkey Mae Says!  It's kind of like how Charo was always a guest star on The Love Boat, except we promise today's guest star will not say "cuchi cuchi."

We're happy Mr. George T. Reed joins us to chat about make up and putting your best face forward!  Mommy Chick met Georgie back when she used to get paid to talk on TV.  In fact, one of the first things George ever said to MC was, "Gal, you need to darken your eyebrows."

George works with the Miss America Organization.  Here is a little snapshot for you.  He is on the far right.  He's there with Miss Kentucky, who was fourth runner-up this year.  George painted her for the pageant.  That's my Auntie Cocoa, Ericka Dunlap, Miss Amercia 2004.  George also does her face.

Now I totally get that you don't want to walk around all red-lipped and fake lashed in the pick up line at pre-school.  So here's the deal...take THREE MINUTES and make yourself look fab.

"Just put a light crease in your eye, swipe on two coats of mascara, darken your brows a bit and finish with a sheer lip gloss," George says.

What should you avoid?

"I see moms running around in way too many frosted eye colors," says George.

Got that?  Ix-nay on the ost-fray.

If you want to get all crazy and take an extra 20 seconds, use a nice dual finish powder.  Lancome makes a great one.  MC has used it for about 15 years.  Sometimes I lick her face and it doesn't taste too bad.

Here are a few other products we like.  Clinique makes a pretty eyeshadow trio for $22.  MC uses Blushing Nude.  Milani makes the dreamiest lipgloss you will ever taste wear.  And is super cheap.  You can order online or buy it at a drugstore.  Seriously, it's amazing and is only $3.49.  Think of all the extra money you can put in your monkey's college fund (or plastic surgery fund...we're not judging)!

And drum roll please...this, George says, is the product every mommy must have:  Maybelline Great Lash.

MC is not a proponent of the Cry it Out method, but does let me fuss so she can have time to do her face.  Here's a little something George wants you to ponder if you claim you can't spare three minutes for yourself.

"Do you really have time to go through life looking like a mess?"

Tomorrow we talk hair and we'll find out what type of ponytail Barbie would never wear (and neither should you).

Here She Is...Miss America!

Congrats to our new Miss America, Miss Virginia, Caressa Cameron!  I don't like to brag, but you'll see here that I predicted yesterday she would be in the top three.  My first choice, Miss Kentucky, was fourth runner up.  Some people call that "fourth loser." And by "some people," I mean Mommy Chick.  I loved Miss Virginia, but I do think Miss Kentucky is still my fav.

I also predicted Miss New York would rank highly.  But I don't think she bothered to show up last night, because she didn't even make the semi-finals.  She must have had some sort of butt-glue emergency. Or maybe I got a bad tip.

MC is going to watch the pageant on Tivo today.  Did you watch?

Miss America Night!

I'm super excited to watch Miss America tonight. Mommy Chick is a little bummed.  She and Daddy Dude are going on a date so she is Tivo-ing the pageant.

I'm hoping to catch a glimpse of my Auntie Cocoa on TV.  She is in Las Vegas tonight because she was Miss America 2004.  That seems like a really long time ago.  Since I just recently met her, being that I have only be on the outside since September, MC found this clip on Youtube of Auntie Cocoa winning her sparkly crown.  She sure did shriek  and cry a lot.

She must have been really hungry, because that's what I do when I need to eat.  And I'm guessing she probably didn't eat a whole lot leading up to the pageant, being that she had to wear a onesie during the swimsuit competition.  Scratch that, the "lifestyle and fitness" competition.






Here are my top three fav's for tonight:

1. Kentucky
2. Virginia
3. New York

Will any of you be watching? It's OK to admit it. I won't tell anyone.

When Divas Unite

Fabulous minds think alike! Today I met my Auntie Cocoa for the first time. Mommy Chick wanted to dress me to impress, so we opted for my velour, leopard print ensemble from H & M. Yes, H & M has baby clothes and maternity clothes. Who knew? Look what happened:

Auntie Cocoa showed up to lunch in her own little leopard get up!

Note to anyone considering leopard print: My tiny swing coat features cat ears on the hood. Do not combine animal ears/animal print if you are over the age of 18 months. That is, unless it is Halloween and you are a slut. Then it is expected of you.

Mommy Chick wants you to cheer for Auntie Cocoa on CBS's "The Amazing Race."


Her real name is Ericka, but she requested that I call her Auntie Cocoa. I obliged as a diva-to-diva courtesy.