I'm Practicing Being a Celebrity

Remember when Angelina Jolie won the Oscar for "Girl Interrupted"? She made out with her brother and then jumped into a pool fully dressed?

I'm practicing for when I take home an Academy Award. I'm so close to the end of my Infant Swimming Resource classes that I can just taste it.

Today, I went in fully clothed, even wearing funny white sandals. I felt just like an old man in Boca.

Keep Swimming!

Check me out! I can totally swim!

I'm still opting for my French Riviera swim look, which is cool since I train at a private facility.

My teacher, Miss Glenda, is going on vaycay, so I won't graduate until the week of the 12th. I imagine Miss Glenda will be doing lots of self-esteem building activities on her trip. It must be hard having all your clients cry when they see you.

I try to make her feel better by smiling and laughing at her after I get out of the pool. All I really want to do while in the pool is chillax on a float with a Boobie Colada.

But bossy ole Mommy Chick insists that I be able to swim, just in case I ever sneak away and swan dive into a pool.

Do you like the way I point my Monkey Toes?

I'm a Mermaid

Sorry I've been away for a few days. This is a big week for me. I'm now just like Michael Phelps...if Michael Phelps wore pink swim panties and screamed each time he entered the pool.

Swimming takes a lot of my time. Ten minutes a day to be exact. I'm taking Infant Swimming Resource lessons. So basically, I'm learning how to save myself should I fall into some water.

I think Piglet should take lessons, too. He is a Shih Tzu and inherited MC's unfortunate athletic skills.

I've opted for the European-topless look while swimming. It simplifies my day. Most Americans are so uptight about such things. I'm glad my teacher is cool with my swim attire.

I think I might kind of be like the Wicked Witch of the West. Remember how water made her melt? I think water might be my kryptonite...it's interfering with my super power.

You'll recall my super power is the ability to fight sleep. I find myself napping more this week. I certainly hope that changes, because my staying awake for 14 hours is fun for everyone.